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Can’t Judge, Won’t Judge- UNLESS…

Can’t Judge, Won’t Judge- UNLESS…

The title of this piece is as simple as it gets. This is the most critical subject we all love to say to others- stop judging!!! But seriously,. Think about it for a second? Do you think it’s easy not to judge people, especially when they are weird as ef. There’s things we all need to be aware of while manifesting ourselves publically. Sometimes in huge networking circles and other times in close family/ friend circles. Are we saying things / or acting in a way where we are leaving no choice for others but to judge us? We came up with the most common and quirkiest ways people present themselves in- and we are left with no choice but to Judge the hell outta them.

1. White Lies:

These are the daredevils who are confident enough to pull a lie which is obvious as F. Like, we know that you got those lips plumped, they look so effing unnatural and you’re sitting there, lying to the whole world like a daredevil. Like people are gonna believe you for real, sister. Just because you hear a “oh nice”, “hmmm’s”, or  “okk’s” doesn’t mean you’re not being judged. Not everyone is going to be honest with you about it, people talk- they judge!! And if you say that you don’t give a rat’s shi* about it- then you’re probably lying, cuz you totally do. If you didn’t, then you would never have lied in the first place. Own your shit and stop bluffing about little things, girl. Confidence is key, afterall.

2. No Filter:

We agree, honesty is the best policy. But sometimes you just gotta shut that front door. If you can be honest 75% of the time, you will still fall in the honest category. You cannot tell a bride on her wedding day that she looked fat in her wedding dress. You just Can’t. Never criticize people’s food on their faces when they were nice enough to invite your ass to their dinner party. Did they have to? Not really. If a newborn baby is alien looking, you cannot break his mother’s heart with your honesty. Sometimes you gotta care about emotions and just shut that front door. People will forget how alien the baby looked but will remember your nasty honesty, girl. Put the filter or be ready to be judged by some cool & perfect judges.

3. Miss/Mr. Heights of bougieness:

We get how wearing 18 different high end brands can make you a perfect fashion blogger. But, displaying your bougie/ fancy stuff and non stop discussing it is so not cool sister. It’s not just uncool but also, annoying as F. It simply shows how shallow of an ass you are, and not just that but you’re also totally being judged – even by your own spirit. Sure your wheels are lamborghini and your scarf is hermes, but seriously, no one gives a damn.(Some people might do, but not the right one’s).  Good for you! Pull them off without uttering a word – it might add value to it. But yapping away kills everything. Sure enough you’re the topic of discussion on everyone’s dinner table. Can’t help!

4. Me Too’ers:

This trait is so freaking common in people. It might not be something bad to say- but sure is annoying. If I am venting about my sad ass broke life to you, you better offer sympathy or a shoulder. I don’t wanna hear a “ME TOO”. I’ll slap you – not in real (in my mind), and will never ever vent out to you. If someone says they’re sick- try to listen to them first- the me too’ers discard the fact that the person said he was suffering and start their own life story of sickness. Umm, it wasn’t about you , it was about their health. So please lend your ears and close your front door for a sec. You’re being judged- if not by bystanders, you sure are by the venter.

5. Cool Cussers:

We understand that when people get flustered, they can’t control their emotions and end up cursing. But this category of folks basically cuss for everything. They have to make a cuss sandwich with their words as long as they’re talking. Good effing morning. How the f  have you been? Let’s go grab an effing cup of coffee. Like seriously? Look around and make sure you’re not sounding unpleasant to folks around you. I will never say cursing is unladylike cuz that would be very sexist of me. But sure enough it’s not cool as it’s perceived to be. Cussing is not cool, it only means that you need to learn better adjectives and build up your vocabulary well. You’re totally being judged no matter how mainstream you think cursing has become.

6. Killer talkers:

These are the people who will talk you to death. Do you ever see a friend, co-worker or neighbor and run away for your life? Cuz you know you are about to get killed by their endless life stories. We understand, you have the most fun family or group of friends, but we are not interested in listening to the details of the useless (for us) incidents that took place in your day. Highlights are always welcome, but only fun or necessary ones. But not the stories of your lives, please. Half of the people are not even paying attention and half are ready to die. Be considerate of people’s time and interest. Unnecessary stories are no fun. You’re really being judged as F.

7. Awkwardly quiet ones:

We know that some people are extremely intelligent to deal with dumb fellows around them. They think everyone else is dumb and nasty and are undeserving of their attention, hence, they remain awkwardly silent throughout the whole time they’re around people, judging them inside. They don’t realize how they’re being perceived. Socially awkward is different, but like literally remaining silent without even uttering a word? That’s not cool bro. Just look around, and say a few words like “hi, how are you” ? and get back to warming your seat or staring at your phones. Just don’t remain mute for the love of God. You’re being hella judged, you probably don’t even know of.

8. Phone Zombies:

Phone zombies are the homo sapiens who came from the future. They’re super tech savvy and are always glued to their phones. They are the most ill-mannered homo sapiens you will ever come across. Imagine your date on tinder shows up – they’re so lost looking at their phone that you hardly got to speak with them over dinner. You finally understand, why they were super active and confident on text messages but completely opposite in real life. Every time you say something to a PZ, they will make you repeat yourself- as they make the worst listeners. Befriending phone zombie is a big no-no, it’s extremely unhealthy for mental health. Anyhooo, even if you’re not a friend, but an acquaintance, try to prioritize people over digital shi*, as you’re so being judged.

9. Penny Pinchers:

These are the people who will go to every person’s birthday party without a present, who will attend every potluck without bringing a dish, who will always be ready to carpool and never veNmo the money back, who will always have others pay for their little/big stuff but will never spend a dime on others. Yes! If you just thought of someone only by reading a line or two, you probably know how annoying it is to deal with them on a daily basis. Someone else pay for your food, it’s minimum courtesy, you buy them a burger the next time you two are out. If you’re never ready to split a check, you better pay it all than having someone else pay for you. Penny pinchers make the worst company and are always the suckers- judge them with a black coat.

10. Extreme Optimism/pessimism:

Being positive or negative is natural and totes cool but extremism is always a big no no. Have you ever come across someone who is extremely carefree and nonchalant about the most terrifying natural disasters? They’re not only not worried but are driving everyone crazy with their positive unrealistic talks. They’re buried deep down in the surface of positivity that there’s no hope of return.

And then there’s this other kind who is always complaining about things. They hate everything about themselves and their lives. The place they’re living, the people they’re around, the work they’re doing. It all sucks for them. To be honest, no one has ever or will stop them from quitting their loser jobs or even moving to their dreamland. So they should feel free and get the hell out of where they are sitting complaining and spreading their pessimism of an extreme nature. Watch out for these bunch of suckers and feel free to judge the hell out of them.

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4 Comments
  • December 17, 2019 at 4:08 pm
    Susan C

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