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Four Major Signs You Have Insecurities

We all have things that leave us distressed or even feel insecure about ourselves. Let’s just be honest, we do. While some of us can be insecure about our appearances, others can get insecure over their social status. We all have our struggles, but let me tell you something, that’s totally normal. It’s not abnormal to feel insecure or vulnerable. What really matters, is to identify our insecurities and settle with them. The second thought is what actually matters. For instance, when I changed my work field, I downgraded from a well paying corporate job to an average paying retail one. I was too new into it, when people asked what I was doing, I felt insecure talking about it. The next thing I realized was how I kept talking about my past role like a broken record even though I wasn’t into that role anymore. I realized how I wasn’t confident about what I was doing only because people perceive it as a “starter” job. But the second thought (that actually matters) made me realize how happy I was in my current role, how I was getting to help people and how I treasured doing what I did. I thought it to myself that unless I wasn’t confident about what I did; I was never going to settle with myself. The stuff that we do, we often get carried away by the burden of what people would think or say.

That make us insecure about things that don’t really matter in reality. These are some signs that people with insecurities show:


  1. Defensive Behavior:

Regardless of what other people tell you, most often your response will be in your defense.

For instance, my friend’s roommate who often hung out with us, would get sour when we discussed our fitness goals. Soon enough, she poured her heart out about how she was body shamed on her social media by her relatives- made her develop a defense mechanism. Her defense mechanism was to talk down fitness gurus or fitness goals in retaliation. She would always argue about how THICK is the new sexy and how skinny is overrated. Every time we talked about fitness goals, she was the first one to comment about how she was so thankful to have a fuller body. She constantly taught herself to manifest self confidence in her current state, in order to hide her insecurities. But, the best part is -when she managed to lose weight years later, she didn’t stumble a bit to open up about her insecurities. Also, she helped others coping up with theirs. The only quick fix to her insecurities was to A. identify them B. Find practical solutions to patch them.

Don’t be quick to judge when people get defensive during petty discussions. There’s often a profound summary behind their peculiar behavior. Let them conceal their insecurities, remember -that’s their defense mechanism to hide the insecurities they are living with.


  1. Boasting/ Self- Praising:

I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this. I’m sure you already have that one person in mind who is a boaster. One of the major signs or insecurity according to psychology is boasting. When people boast about things like: their achievements, their appearances, their earnings, their relationships or anything for a matter of fact- it’s not because they’re successful; its insecurity that’s doing all the talking.  Boasting makes a person feel happy about themselves, while the real achievers have absolutely no time for it. Often they make the best listeners instead. As they say: Confidence is Silent, and insecurities are LOUD. Next time you come across your Mr. Boaster, let them have their moment. Just smile and let them feel good about themselves. It’s their way of dealing with their insecurities.


  1. Seldom Compliment Others:

People that are generous with compliments are mostly the ones who are confident and secure in their skins.. Often times we come across people that are extremely competitive and hate to see other people in limelight. They are the ones who will bring their dog’s birthday cake on your wedding day and want your big day to be all about them and their pup. Don’t judge them, they don’t know what they’re doing. People with high level of insecurities often attempt to steal other people’s joy. These are the people that are full of themselves and unfortunately other people’s accomplishments ruin their day/ mood or even their lives. Their happiness is based on other people’s failures. They can never authentically compliment others. They are also often hasty in giving bogus compliments. Watch out for those kind of compliments. They are the ones who will compliment your fluorescent green shirts and your purple lipstick which was a little too intimidating for that event.


  1. Lies at all time:


Have you ever caught yourself lying to others about small-big things time and again? Well, according to psychology, you have INSECURITIES!! People that lie often are the ones who are insecure about themselves. They paint a picture of themselves for the world that is completely different than their real self. The life they live, the things they do , the food they eat and the people they hang out with, everything is a lie or an exaggeration. They pretend to live a life in front of others that they’ve always imagined for themselves. Whether or not it’s benefiting them, you will always find them bluffing. Many times we are able to spot these bluff masters, very few times we confront them. It’s hard to not judge someone with an impulsive sense of lying, but know that they are often the most insecure ones. Help them identify their insecurities, if you’re in their closest circle- rather than judging and making them a topic of discussion.

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1 Comment
  • October 31, 2019 at 5:16 am
    Kimberly Anne

    Haha! An enjoyable read, babe. Thanks for sharing on your iG.

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